the catalyst

well, if u dunno yet, im 21!! yes 21.. i feel no different than yesterday. i still have not changed. other than the age part. lol but the way i look at the age of 21, other than the freedom everyone normally sees or anything else in norm, i see the age of 21 as a gateway of opportunities. every year i age, would be a year closer to my personal goals i look forward to achieve. TIME IS RUNNING OUT!! so while taking a shower (one of my fav time to think lol), i decided to sort out my goals again and just share them with my fellow readers. its not like i have many readers, but somehow, its good that i dont so u guys wont copy my goals eh??? hahaha


so what have i managed to achieve before today? not much actually.

1. i finally got the opportunity to study abroad and live the phase i feel everyone should go through. the student life. the phase where we learn to be independent, to care for ourselves, to miss and worry bout those at home, to worry bout tmr's meal, to look forward to goin back, to experience the dilemma of not goin back lol, to make new friends, to start off at a clean slate, to try new things out, see new places, to FINISH our studies and to learn to be an adult.

2. i managed to experience a brief moment of working life before moving to kl.. to try broker-ship, to manage events, to write posts for a magazine, to appear in media (a week wei!! plus live on radio too :D), to understand procedures and protocols of some useful stuff and to meet influential people. not bad ahh?? i can say im quite proud of what i've managed to do tho there are failures and disappointments, i've learn much of things by which we cant simply pay for.

3. i've completed my diploma without problems. my 3 years in SEGi Kuching, although it was suppose to be 2 and a half haha

4. traveled alone to different places and to experience diff cultures and enjoy the my alone time. im really glad i did this one, although i've only managed to visit Bali, Jakarta and Kota Kinabalu; and of cos a brief moment in Penang, im hope to visit more places in the near future n with wishful thinking, the whole world. and not to forget, i did all of my travel using my savings too!! and just so u know, if im not wrong, i've been atleast on the plane twice a month (return flights of cos) back and forth to where ever it is for more than a year now. airasia should give me a special flying miles account hehehe

5. to read books!! im not a fan of reading but i did!! 3 in fact. all dan brown's tho HAHAHA well, i read only when i travel far away tho. so yeah.. cant blame me.

6. to indulge in shopping! yessss!! shopping!!! lately, due to the convenience of stayin in kl, shopping malls are not burning but torching a big hole in my account. i got to buy things i never thought i could afford. of cos, i worked and saved really hard la.. =D

7. to vindicate people. well, this, i've only managed to help one friend of mine tho. no details bout this as its pnc. but yeah..i look forward to doin more :)

8. play sports!! yes..although i have really bad stamina, i've tried to get myself involved in sports. n i did! squash is the bomb...then futsal, dodgeball!! :D, frisbee!! all with intention to build my stamina and lead a healthier live. we intoxicate our body so we must work it all out too ryte? haha

okay...dats bout all i managed to do. after typing them down, im impressed by myself actually =D hahahahaha now that i've listed what i've accomplished, imma try prioritize my current goals by the age of 25

1. to get my own place. buy it of cos. big shot goal but im damn motivated to do so.

2. to get cars of mine. yes. CARS!! not one, but atleast more than one la haha

3. to learn how to ride a bike, and then own a nice one.

4. to complete my degree and hopefully get the opportunity to complete it abroad

5. to get involved in more event management.

6. to learn to play the guitar properly. of cos, i'll have to get one.

7. to indulge in more social activities and sports.

8. to bulid my body. yes....this i really need motivation haha

9. to earn my quarter million at least by 25. and a my 1st million by 28

10. to travel and see more places. thailand in january yaw!! and of cos, more of Bali :)

11. to fulfill those promises i've made. the one's i forgot and have no idea about haha

12. to learn to cook more dishes

13. to work in a big firm after my degree. yes. i have a plan which i hope will workout

14. to own different businesses. atleast 2 by 25.

15. to make more awesome friends to add to my current ones.

16. to repay the debt i feel i owe to those who've helped me during bad times

17. to voice out my opinion and my thoughts to my mum's family once im doing alright. to prove that i am better off without inherited money

18. to help children. as i adore them. kids deserve to live their childhood better than i did. i envy them eh. they'ed have no worries, they dream dreams we dun dream about anymore and are damn adorable. looking at things the way i see it, i feel people's personalities do not change from young. so i guess, the best way to make the world a better place, is to nuture and guide kids from young. true??

19. to compile my thoughts and philosophy and prolly write a book bout it

20. to continue vindicating more people. if u do not know wad it is, vindication is a process of cleansing a person's reputation. something liddat ah. to clean or ward off the bad name people impose in them. and when u manage to do so, u'll feel on top of the world.

21. to get to watch concerts of my fav bands namely incubus!! before they grow too old to perform haha

22. to participate in a foundation, welfare or anything similar. UNICEF!!

23. to continue being who i am. to stand for what i feel is right.

24. to make a impact in the kuching community

25. to change improve my self confidence. be more bold in actions of mine and rock people's lives :D

26. and finally to try support my family as soon as possible.

quite alot eh? well, the more the better. and if i cant manage to complete atleast a few in the coming one year, atleast i would be in progress in doin so


now that i've listed my goals and all. id like to talk bout me. u see... i live a very different childhood and event currently, compared to those of my peers. yes, a few of them have their own problems too. but i feel the live i've lived for the 21 years im alive is nt smthg anyone would want to experience. why so? i may have not shared my situation with many but im glad for the problems i faced has built me and made me who i am today. of cos, there are those few 'gui ren-s' (eve!! see i know how to use this word dy haha) who has helped and indirectly guided me through mishaps and im grateful for them to be around. i've realized too, although i cant explain how "terrible" my situation is at the moment, i get to indulge in things i never thought i would be able to indulge in. and besides that, i've realized that i, all this while, have been living comfortaby in a sense that, there's always good food to eat, that i always manage to get a big room for myself, that i always manage to live a life of luxury although i may not afford them. why so? i do not know as well. and for that i feel grateful that such things are always around for me to enjoy. :D

and my wonderful friends :) yes. i have wonderful friends i love. great ones. i dunno why too. but i always seem to meet and have the right people as friends. i believe tho its how u treat them, u cherish them, u talk to them, trust them and believe in them that makes the difference. through experience, i've learned that we should treat others the way we want to be treated back. sincerity too plays an important part. 'results' may not show early and in case of people misunderstanding you, someday, you will be vindicated. its all a matter of time and belief.  dats the reason why i believe alot in vindication u see.. back to my friends. i cant ask for better friends than i already have, cos they are the best dy. :) i feel loved by them, n i love my frens a hell lot!! lk dat much!! u know or not??? DAT MUCH!!! so much so i regard my closest frens as family. i seriously, honestly cannot live without them. my closest frens can tell la hahaha and i wish to see my all my frens, the closest one especially succeed in life together in the future :D

another thing i'd like to talk bout, im feeling old talking so much crap dy. bt yeah..ermm...u see.. one advice to all is to not have expectations from other people but to expect alot from yourself. expectations are what kills us all, spoils our mood and destroys us. yes we may have to expect for things like quality and work bla bla bla and all but what im talking bout is expectations in a sense of damn..i dunno how to explain la... well, erm..if u have less expectations, the stupid useless ones, we would get disappointed less, n by that, we live happier lives. we should know what we deserve and be contented with what we have at the same time. only then would we not have ridiculous expectations. u get wad i mean? just be contented. but not too much. dats the part im trying to improve of myself. yes i do appreciate wad i have but i get too contented with what i already have. i believe i do not demand for my rights as much as i need to. dat way, i feel that i've lost many opportunities just by being pleased with what i already have. expect in moderation and demand what we actually deserve. from now on, im imma try do that. so dun think im bitching up okay!! i feel its bout time i get what i rightfully deserve.

last but not least, my family. through all the bad and good times ive been through, i've been through them with my family. im glad i have a dad, a mom, a bro and sis like mine. all of which made me who i am today. im glad my dad and mum is comfortable of sharing their problems with me and that to be felt that my presence makes a difference. however, i am too worried for thing to be in the near future and i really hope, things would turn out alright.

i think dats bout all i want to say for this post of mine during my bday :D n i have a feeling it is far by the most organized one too! haha. kudos aaron!! :D i guess im doin alright at the moment, besides the down side of things. and for this bday of mine, i've been wished by my frens and all and i really do feel loved :D i've been told to have a blast but i feel, i should do things my way. and have a quieter and more relaxed 21st bday compare to others and to spend time with loved ones rather than partying all way through. thanks tho for all the wishes again :D now im looking forward to my bday cake.....man..i want a good big piece of a real good cheese cake tmr. ;) hehehehehehe

thats all folks!!

love,
Aaron