its been a few days since we talked, called or contacted. n i was on my way to try forget bout wad has all the crap. till yday. u left a post. not it seems harder to do anything. foolish enuf, i responded. is this a game? i feel so much like a bloody fool that has been played. what is this about n wad r u actually up?? enlighten me n just tell me please. im just gonna sit n wait. makes things easier for me i recon. rather than sorrow myself thinking bout shit n just keep myself busy at any other stuff. its hard already seeing u online. n now dat u cntcted me, it all seems harder again. n plus, ur doing it all over again. u telling me stuff n ur posts n ur tsk3-s n ur sudden disappearance all make me wonder. again! sigh. heard of compassion? get things straight with me n end my sorrow. pls.

aaron aaron aaron...

restlessness....let me tell u bout it. i'v been feeling that way for the past 1 week. due to that, i was not in the mood to do almost anything. when im home, i feel lk goin out. n when im out, i feel lk goin home. i have the "thing" of being "in-touch" at all times. but then, when im home and online, there's nth to be in touch with. hence i get bored n watch my videos over and over again. i'd watch a lil den wonder off doing something else and feel lk goin out. then when im out, i feel the need to go online. wtf ryte?? im in a fucked up phase now. everything seems to be wrong and just not right. even the songs i put on play just doesnt sound right.

and why am i restless?? i've been expecting a call. one that would change matters. one that might prolly "set me free" from home and all. one that might just be a start to my working life. haihhh... its been a week now since i've waited..

besides that, there are other reasons to add up to my restlessness. how i wish i could just talk to someone bout it. but when i feel lk talking, my topic leads to no where, or rather "have no ground". so its rather pointless i may say. then again, a person to just talk bout the stuff i wanna talk about would be just nice, to share my probs and all. and why cant i share my probs, when everyone esle seems to be sharing theirs with me?? here and there, i listen and "consult"...telling people wad to do but yet, i just cant seem to tell myself the right things to do...at which i'll just let things be and watch them turn on me and break me apart. sucks ehh... or m i just too shy even to tell my closest friends bout what im goin through. why is it so easy for others to share their thoughts and probs? haihhh.. being me seems so hard at times ehh... and i wonder bout others.. how they feel bout themselves. yes, there might be people offering their ears to my crap but then, i tend to choose who to talk to.. wtf rtye.... then again, hear me out. someone. haihhhhhh...

i do wonder...y does it seem so easy for people to not bother bout things n just do stuff...dun they care bout the little2 things? dun they care bout how other people feel?? dun they care at all?? its the little2 things that matters ehh...or does everyone i think about feels the way i do and just let things be and then "it just happened". get wad i mean?? how can things "just happen"? things dun just happen....we gotta think before things actually happen.

i wonder if there's another out there who feels and thinks just like me. hello??

there's a question mark behind my smile u see

way to go Aaron..

i believe i kinda side-tracked lately...with everything....honestly, i have not been thinking and acting right....been much more a laze and a slump compared to myself before my trip to kl. i guess kl has changed me for the worst hahaha n having the laptop has made it even worst. i begin to laze even more and im starting to feel a lil more reluctant to go work prolly becos i dun need the money till january?? haha

anyhusssss....last week was an awe to me. pretty everything much went the "other" way or rather the way i din want it to be. everything just did not seem right. i felt i have been loosing grip on everything so much so i feel restless in everything i do...pfttt....well, i do hope for a better week..so far so good. no monday blues for me today hahaha cos monday was pretty short!! hahah woke up damn late before anything could actually happen. hahaha not dat late lahh...prolly aroun 11?? hehehe everything seems to move very slow lately. work and all. even play haha the ramadhan is killing me!! yes it is!!! i myself may not be fasting but it certainly kills the fun and the speed of the way things are going!! thus, people work less efficiently...i think...

i have a new resolution. to get things right during the new month!! September it is hahaha cant wait. but before it, i think i need another holiday hahahahahaha just the weekends....starting next week, im gonna make sure i do the thing im suppose to do. money n time dun wait people!!

i watched District 9 yday. its far by the WORST movie i ever watched in the cineplex. stupid movie bout aliens in earth hahaha

gtg now people.....im starting to dislike some people haha n i mean it haha

its been awhile

alot has happened since the last post. mostly disappointing agendas. fuck them ahhh 18th aug was one of the worst day among bad days in my life. haihhh

skip the fucked up parts, im 20!!!!!! and i dunno wad else to write cos i haven been for a while.

anyways, all i wanted to say is that, I WANT SOMETHING MEANINGFUL. dont we all??

when it comes

this week is an awe!! everything seemed torturous haihh....ther's thing wif dad lately, saddad, people around me, segi. or mayb its just me ehh?? at times, i need someone to talk to. but i'll prefer to just keep it to myself. see, im contradicting hahaha kimen.

besides that, im goin kl coming weds!! im excited, but not as well. hahhaa here i go again

skype is the bomb!! lol

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