unpublished posts

since last month. just so u know, i have i stack of unpublished post that i resent from publishing haha

here's the deal

again. i've been slacking. reli late nights and late mornings. had intended to follow my dad to work today but it kinda din work out. had my alarm set at 7 but ended up waking at 9.30. i got it all screwed up and i need the cash real bad. i have been procrastinating much lately, postponing everything to the week after. and when it's due, i postpone it again.

here's the deal. imma start wroking tmr. boring onot i will. for the money n to keep my mind off unnecessary stuff. i haven got a plan, but i got an idea. i cant slack no more. there's so much i wanna say, but i guess its better off if i keep it to myself. like usual. that's y im quite pretty much. bye fuckers

greetings from my escapade =|

i caught a plane to kl earlier this fri. din actually catch the plane cos i missed the damn flight. so i got on the next flight and got my ass to kl. not actually kl lah but nilai haha spent most of my time here n it was a blast. had a blast here and i honestly dun feel lk goin home. had reli good talks with alan. all the poret and shit. so it was good lah

then again, it was quite a depressing trip.
1. i missed my flight to kl
2. lost my phone
3. my dad did not know i was in kl, n i kantoi-ed
4. i missed my flight back to kch

wtf ryte??

bout no.2, i lost my se at the ktm over sentral. mcb. its bloody pack dat time so some ass pick-pocketed me lahh..din reli feel down tho hehe cos i kinda felt it was high time i got myself another phone not becos i wanted too, but becos i had too. camera aint working, the joystick ain reli working, the speakers aint working, the cover's fucked up. so yalah. whoever took the phone must could have felt pissed cos he cant reli do much with it. even to sell it, i think if he did, the shop even pay him to keep the phone hahahaha!!! so yalah, downside's that i gotta spill cash to get myself another phone..sighhh

bout my kantoi thing with my dad, i told him i was heading for damai for the weekends and merdeka too lah. so yalah...he called everyday since he was concerned. and worst, he brought food up to damai without letting me know. then he had to wait. so he called and called. i finally answered. then he told me he was waiting at the lobby with food so asked me to pick it up. MCB i tell u. i felt fucking bad. so i told him the truth and all. said i was sorry. but still lahh....i cud have felt how he actually might have felt!! him sending the food there, to me telling him im actually at kl. gosh...he must have felt bloody disappointed n sad ehh...worst still, when i called him again, he wasnt angry at all.....that made me felt even worst!! so yalahh....kinda blew my day. sigh. im sure it gonna get damn weird when i get back

but then again. after everything, when i missed my flight last night, i suddenly had a feeling of not goin back. still. even now, i dun feel lk it. hehhhh.....im in the departure hall btw. n it just started to rain really badly. till then, chaooooo~ sighhhh...

its been a few days since we talked, called or contacted. n i was on my way to try forget bout wad has all the crap. till yday. u left a post. not it seems harder to do anything. foolish enuf, i responded. is this a game? i feel so much like a bloody fool that has been played. what is this about n wad r u actually up?? enlighten me n just tell me please. im just gonna sit n wait. makes things easier for me i recon. rather than sorrow myself thinking bout shit n just keep myself busy at any other stuff. its hard already seeing u online. n now dat u cntcted me, it all seems harder again. n plus, ur doing it all over again. u telling me stuff n ur posts n ur tsk3-s n ur sudden disappearance all make me wonder. again! sigh. heard of compassion? get things straight with me n end my sorrow. pls.

aaron aaron aaron...

restlessness....let me tell u bout it. i'v been feeling that way for the past 1 week. due to that, i was not in the mood to do almost anything. when im home, i feel lk goin out. n when im out, i feel lk goin home. i have the "thing" of being "in-touch" at all times. but then, when im home and online, there's nth to be in touch with. hence i get bored n watch my videos over and over again. i'd watch a lil den wonder off doing something else and feel lk goin out. then when im out, i feel the need to go online. wtf ryte?? im in a fucked up phase now. everything seems to be wrong and just not right. even the songs i put on play just doesnt sound right.

and why am i restless?? i've been expecting a call. one that would change matters. one that might prolly "set me free" from home and all. one that might just be a start to my working life. haihhh... its been a week now since i've waited..

besides that, there are other reasons to add up to my restlessness. how i wish i could just talk to someone bout it. but when i feel lk talking, my topic leads to no where, or rather "have no ground". so its rather pointless i may say. then again, a person to just talk bout the stuff i wanna talk about would be just nice, to share my probs and all. and why cant i share my probs, when everyone esle seems to be sharing theirs with me?? here and there, i listen and "consult"...telling people wad to do but yet, i just cant seem to tell myself the right things to do...at which i'll just let things be and watch them turn on me and break me apart. sucks ehh... or m i just too shy even to tell my closest friends bout what im goin through. why is it so easy for others to share their thoughts and probs? haihhh.. being me seems so hard at times ehh... and i wonder bout others.. how they feel bout themselves. yes, there might be people offering their ears to my crap but then, i tend to choose who to talk to.. wtf rtye.... then again, hear me out. someone. haihhhhhh...

i do wonder...y does it seem so easy for people to not bother bout things n just do stuff...dun they care bout the little2 things? dun they care bout how other people feel?? dun they care at all?? its the little2 things that matters ehh...or does everyone i think about feels the way i do and just let things be and then "it just happened". get wad i mean?? how can things "just happen"? things dun just happen....we gotta think before things actually happen.

i wonder if there's another out there who feels and thinks just like me. hello??

there's a question mark behind my smile u see

way to go Aaron..

i believe i kinda side-tracked lately...with everything....honestly, i have not been thinking and acting right....been much more a laze and a slump compared to myself before my trip to kl. i guess kl has changed me for the worst hahaha n having the laptop has made it even worst. i begin to laze even more and im starting to feel a lil more reluctant to go work prolly becos i dun need the money till january?? haha

anyhusssss....last week was an awe to me. pretty everything much went the "other" way or rather the way i din want it to be. everything just did not seem right. i felt i have been loosing grip on everything so much so i feel restless in everything i do...pfttt....well, i do hope for a better week..so far so good. no monday blues for me today hahaha cos monday was pretty short!! hahah woke up damn late before anything could actually happen. hahaha not dat late lahh...prolly aroun 11?? hehehe everything seems to move very slow lately. work and all. even play haha the ramadhan is killing me!! yes it is!!! i myself may not be fasting but it certainly kills the fun and the speed of the way things are going!! thus, people work less efficiently...i think...

i have a new resolution. to get things right during the new month!! September it is hahaha cant wait. but before it, i think i need another holiday hahahahahaha just the weekends....starting next week, im gonna make sure i do the thing im suppose to do. money n time dun wait people!!

i watched District 9 yday. its far by the WORST movie i ever watched in the cineplex. stupid movie bout aliens in earth hahaha

gtg now people.....im starting to dislike some people haha n i mean it haha

its been awhile

alot has happened since the last post. mostly disappointing agendas. fuck them ahhh 18th aug was one of the worst day among bad days in my life. haihhh

skip the fucked up parts, im 20!!!!!! and i dunno wad else to write cos i haven been for a while.

anyways, all i wanted to say is that, I WANT SOMETHING MEANINGFUL. dont we all??

when it comes

this week is an awe!! everything seemed torturous haihh....ther's thing wif dad lately, saddad, people around me, segi. or mayb its just me ehh?? at times, i need someone to talk to. but i'll prefer to just keep it to myself. see, im contradicting hahaha kimen.

besides that, im goin kl coming weds!! im excited, but not as well. hahhaa here i go again

skype is the bomb!! lol

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalallalalalalalalalala

second thoughts

this week was a slack. not the good week i had expected. pretty much just like dat. haihh

ian got married. on sat. bout time he got married too hahahaha pretty different this time as there was no wedding dinner but lunch. a good idea tho but it seems to be quite redundant to have it during lunch. its kinda too bright?? lol plus almost everyone was in casuals. hardly any formals. not the thing id like for my wedding haha then again, its okay lahh...food was okay too. besides that, nth much to say bout the wedding. haha!!

today was a dissapointment, really big one. kinda bad way to start the day too. im not angry, just dissapointed. i had planned something but it seems im having second thoughts. i know, u may ask, y bother to be dissapointed or even care, when there's actually nothing goin on. but i just am. n sorry, im not over it. its hard not to think bout it. as open as i may be, that thing was just hard. i hope u get to read this.

im nice ba.... haihh...its just sucks when such things happen..n i hope it doesn happen again.

please dont ask me wads goin on. id like to keep this just to myself. cant tell no one, so i just needed to write it out. esp adruce haha pls...

if we are, we are..so it is!!

like alan, i have a 5 year plan. a plan of which i wont tell. cos i cant exactly list it out. its purely a sketch in mind of how things are intended/i picture to be in this coming 5 years. i am 20. so i'll roughly be 24++ when things actually come to picture. u will see.... i may have no car. i may have not much money. i may have no house. but in this 5 year plan. im gonna. so im kinda arm-ed and still arming myself to be ready to go all out. u guys will see... things may not work out for me at the moment, but im confident as hell that it is. things are starting to happen. u will see...

if we are, we are. so it is. so dont complain. things that happen has its reasons and form it something will happen. u dun get me? u will see.... i see myself destined for greatness. u will see....

oh ya. im attractively interesting which makes me interestingly attractive hahahaha =) someone said it. not actually said it lah. but it seemed dat way HAHA!!!