its been a few days since we talked, called or contacted. n i was on my way to try forget bout wad has all the crap. till yday. u left a post. not it seems harder to do anything. foolish enuf, i responded. is this a game? i feel so much like a bloody fool that has been played. what is this about n wad r u actually up?? enlighten me n just tell me please. im just gonna sit n wait. makes things easier for me i recon. rather than sorrow myself thinking bout shit n just keep myself busy at any other stuff. its hard already seeing u online. n now dat u cntcted me, it all seems harder again. n plus, ur doing it all over again. u telling me stuff n ur posts n ur tsk3-s n ur sudden disappearance all make me wonder. again! sigh. heard of compassion? get things straight with me n end my sorrow. pls.

aaron aaron aaron...

restlessness....let me tell u bout it. i'v been feeling that way for the past 1 week. due to that, i was not in the mood to do almost anything. when im home, i feel lk goin out. n when im out, i feel lk goin home. i have the "thing" of being "in-touch" at all times. but then, when im home and online, there's nth to be in touch with. hence i get bored n watch my videos over and over again. i'd watch a lil den wonder off doing something else and feel lk goin out. then when im out, i feel the need to go online. wtf ryte?? im in a fucked up phase now. everything seems to be wrong and just not right. even the songs i put on play just doesnt sound right.

and why am i restless?? i've been expecting a call. one that would change matters. one that might prolly "set me free" from home and all. one that might just be a start to my working life. haihhh... its been a week now since i've waited..

besides that, there are other reasons to add up to my restlessness. how i wish i could just talk to someone bout it. but when i feel lk talking, my topic leads to no where, or rather "have no ground". so its rather pointless i may say. then again, a person to just talk bout the stuff i wanna talk about would be just nice, to share my probs and all. and why cant i share my probs, when everyone esle seems to be sharing theirs with me?? here and there, i listen and "consult"...telling people wad to do but yet, i just cant seem to tell myself the right things to do...at which i'll just let things be and watch them turn on me and break me apart. sucks ehh... or m i just too shy even to tell my closest friends bout what im goin through. why is it so easy for others to share their thoughts and probs? haihhh.. being me seems so hard at times ehh... and i wonder bout others.. how they feel bout themselves. yes, there might be people offering their ears to my crap but then, i tend to choose who to talk to.. wtf rtye.... then again, hear me out. someone. haihhhhhh...

i do wonder...y does it seem so easy for people to not bother bout things n just do stuff...dun they care bout the little2 things? dun they care bout how other people feel?? dun they care at all?? its the little2 things that matters ehh...or does everyone i think about feels the way i do and just let things be and then "it just happened". get wad i mean?? how can things "just happen"? things dun just happen....we gotta think before things actually happen.

i wonder if there's another out there who feels and thinks just like me. hello??

there's a question mark behind my smile u see

way to go Aaron..

i believe i kinda side-tracked lately...with everything....honestly, i have not been thinking and acting right....been much more a laze and a slump compared to myself before my trip to kl. i guess kl has changed me for the worst hahaha n having the laptop has made it even worst. i begin to laze even more and im starting to feel a lil more reluctant to go work prolly becos i dun need the money till january?? haha

anyhusssss....last week was an awe to me. pretty everything much went the "other" way or rather the way i din want it to be. everything just did not seem right. i felt i have been loosing grip on everything so much so i feel restless in everything i do...pfttt....well, i do hope for a better week..so far so good. no monday blues for me today hahaha cos monday was pretty short!! hahah woke up damn late before anything could actually happen. hahaha not dat late lahh...prolly aroun 11?? hehehe everything seems to move very slow lately. work and all. even play haha the ramadhan is killing me!! yes it is!!! i myself may not be fasting but it certainly kills the fun and the speed of the way things are going!! thus, people work less efficiently...i think...

i have a new resolution. to get things right during the new month!! September it is hahaha cant wait. but before it, i think i need another holiday hahahahahaha just the weekends....starting next week, im gonna make sure i do the thing im suppose to do. money n time dun wait people!!

i watched District 9 yday. its far by the WORST movie i ever watched in the cineplex. stupid movie bout aliens in earth hahaha

gtg now people.....im starting to dislike some people haha n i mean it haha

its been awhile

alot has happened since the last post. mostly disappointing agendas. fuck them ahhh 18th aug was one of the worst day among bad days in my life. haihhh

skip the fucked up parts, im 20!!!!!! and i dunno wad else to write cos i haven been for a while.

anyways, all i wanted to say is that, I WANT SOMETHING MEANINGFUL. dont we all??

when it comes

this week is an awe!! everything seemed torturous haihh....ther's thing wif dad lately, saddad, people around me, segi. or mayb its just me ehh?? at times, i need someone to talk to. but i'll prefer to just keep it to myself. see, im contradicting hahaha kimen.

besides that, im goin kl coming weds!! im excited, but not as well. hahhaa here i go again

skype is the bomb!! lol

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalallalalalalalalalala

second thoughts

this week was a slack. not the good week i had expected. pretty much just like dat. haihh

ian got married. on sat. bout time he got married too hahahaha pretty different this time as there was no wedding dinner but lunch. a good idea tho but it seems to be quite redundant to have it during lunch. its kinda too bright?? lol plus almost everyone was in casuals. hardly any formals. not the thing id like for my wedding haha then again, its okay lahh...food was okay too. besides that, nth much to say bout the wedding. haha!!

today was a dissapointment, really big one. kinda bad way to start the day too. im not angry, just dissapointed. i had planned something but it seems im having second thoughts. i know, u may ask, y bother to be dissapointed or even care, when there's actually nothing goin on. but i just am. n sorry, im not over it. its hard not to think bout it. as open as i may be, that thing was just hard. i hope u get to read this.

im nice ba.... haihh...its just sucks when such things happen..n i hope it doesn happen again.

please dont ask me wads goin on. id like to keep this just to myself. cant tell no one, so i just needed to write it out. esp adruce haha pls...

if we are, we are..so it is!!

like alan, i have a 5 year plan. a plan of which i wont tell. cos i cant exactly list it out. its purely a sketch in mind of how things are intended/i picture to be in this coming 5 years. i am 20. so i'll roughly be 24++ when things actually come to picture. u will see.... i may have no car. i may have not much money. i may have no house. but in this 5 year plan. im gonna. so im kinda arm-ed and still arming myself to be ready to go all out. u guys will see... things may not work out for me at the moment, but im confident as hell that it is. things are starting to happen. u will see...

if we are, we are. so it is. so dont complain. things that happen has its reasons and form it something will happen. u dun get me? u will see.... i see myself destined for greatness. u will see....

oh ya. im attractively interesting which makes me interestingly attractive hahahaha =) someone said it. not actually said it lah. but it seemed dat way HAHA!!!

hello!!

okay. i just sent my letter of appeal to segi this noon as my moral paper's on the 8th when i'll already be at kl. turns out id most likely to be sitting for my exam after my kl trip?? so its good in a way lahh. eve can provide me tips hahaha yes?? LOL

so i actually planned out my kl trip a week back. on the 5th, i'll be on my way to kl. the weekends at kl and prolly the rest at the beach. alan's interested to go redang but its kinda 7 hours away from kl plus i have nt made any bookings yet.. huhu mayb melaka lahh or penang =)

oh. i watched made of honor earlier. its good. hahaha Michelle Monaghan is my new <3 hahaha she's hot weiiii hahahahahha

i love chick flicks. yes i said it!! hahahhaha

the take-over

Andy Timmons was great tonight!! tagged along with adruce as he had extra tickets for the guitar clinic. nice experience tho. plus it was great to a guitar virtuoso!! had a pic with him of whic i dunno wher to get the pic from haha n got an autograph too!! hahaha

alan's left. kch will be slightly quieter. haih. but then again, im gonna see that bugger in 2 weeks!! ahahaha KL baby!! n there's other to see too. i wont mention names ;)

SADDAD's fusion episode 2 was a blast although there was errors.. poor sound system due to some misunderstanding we had...pftttt...but no more next shows....hopefully!! hahahahha come next week tho, we'll be having a ladies night haha :)

had a last at alan's place on fri nite hahaha u'll see why when i get my hands onthe video hahaha

besides that, i think theres nth else to write bout.

i do have a feeling this week's gonna be great!! huhuhu =D

make it mine

its tuesday, few more days shy to Saddad's Fusion episode 2. everything seems alright expect the pa system lahh. im gonna get to it try lah haihh

mum n dad went to kl last thurs till sun. so i was left the company and my bro n sis to take care off. 3 days acting boss is damn taxing. so many things to do in so little time ehh.. but i managed n im quite impressed and proud with myself AHAHAHHAHAHA

rainfest was up. quite interesting this time. had fun during the show and all and stayed the night at the beach. not because i want to but i had to. i had no choice!! hahaha i lost my damn car keys inside Redha's bag. n redha's bag was stolen dat night huhuhu bloody mistake to leave the car keys in there ehh...lucky i did not leave my wallet or phone with him HAHAHA then again, rainfest was alright lahh. just got into a lil trouble to look for the keys and to find a way back home, WITH THE CAR hahahah so after 12am, when everything finished, instead of hanging out at the beach straight away like everyone else is, i went to look for the keys. i knew it was kinda imposible so i just let it be lah hahaha made sime calls to security to take care of the car and then went to party. so party i did. kinda.hahaha no lah. all i did was hung out, poret, drank a lil, talk then fall asleep feeling very very very cold haha mind u, i was at the beach with nth more than my pants and shirt. no blanket no room no pillow no nothing. well, at least i had the brains to actually "steal" the tilam n sleep on the lazy chair..unlike some ppl who had to end up on the sand asleep and wet HAHAHAHA so i did not reli get a good sleep, kept waking up after awhile till it was 6.30 am when harith asked me to join him to drink HAHAHAHA as much drunk as he is, he asked me to join him summore. hahaha so i did, i din actually drink but hung around for a ciggy HAHAHA den i met some people, wasted a lil time here and there and finally got to borrow adeen's car to go get my spare keys. cos mamal din call and he was suppose to help me get the keys when he's playing golf. apparently, he played golf during noon. i cudnt wait that long. hahahhaa back to the story, i borrowed adeen's car, drove home, got the keys, got my car and drove back. hahahah by then it was 10 smthg2 hahaha ta daaaaa~~~~ my rainfest lol oh ya, i got myself a pretty cool bracelet ehh hahahhaa from rainfest :)

wad rainfest got me into?? isolation. hahahahahaha most of my frens are literally afraid to hang out with me cos ther's a possibility of me having H1N1. wtf ryte?? HAHAHAHAHHA

assignments. are almost done. due tmr. few paragraphs left and a step closer to my diploma and the unneccessary headaches :)

i want a kelisa :) or an old sch pajero :)

today, i wanna talk bout expectations.lol.expectations are wad make us feel unhappy. of cos when we dun get wad we want. so why bother to expect something. or rather to have expectations in general. what ever is, is. if we get it, we do. if we dont, its alright, it wont pinch. so yeah. dun have expectations. im not trying to say not to have it at all but no those of material and u noe wad i mean lah. expectations are actually good, if we have a standard to keep up to. but then again, thats not wad im talking bout. hahaha so yeah....wad ever is, is lah. i dun have huge expectations on many things other than my work. so yeah...i feel rather better lah. or happier than some people i noe. i dun expect so whatever i get im grateful and happy lah hahahaha like dat day!! :) dad bought me smthg. din expect aything but i got smthg. adrian expected smthg, got nthg he wanted. brenda expected smthg, gt smthg else. so yalah. im most happy then lah AHAHAHAHAHHAH :) think bout it